That's what I'm going to call this kind of post from now on: Double I, HI: If I Had an Instagram.
On the way home from Honeypie this afternoon I was sitting in the backseat of Nate's car with Coco. Nate was driving. Nate loves his car, a blue Subaru station wagon, and it suits his personality quite well. Nate is sturdy and dependable. Rugged, good-looking, outdoorsy and so is his car.
Sam drives a sleek, fast black Audi. That's another story.
Sam was sitting in the passenger seat. We had met him at Honeypie in Bondville: my mom and dad, Nate and Coco and I went there to meet Sam whose father, Scott, had dropped him off.
Sam flew to Boston from Reno last night after finishing his first year of college, and spent the night there with Scott and some friends. Then they drove back to Vermont today.
It's rainy and cold here again, which made the day gloomy, except that I was with all three of my kids for the first time since Christmas. And though I am tired of being cold and of having these odd headaches, I felt radiant inside because my children are so much fun to be with. They are very funny, and I love listening to the boys talk to each other. I love sitting in the backseat and listening to my two sons having a conversation.
I can still remember when they were both in car seats and I was the driver. I remember thinking, "I can't wait for the day when they can talk to each other and I don't have to interpret!"
We all met at Honeypie, which is really great hamburger joint near Stratton. Two very kind people moved to a different table when they saw our large group, so we could have the table big enough to fit all of us. We didn't even have to ask them; they offered.
After we ate, my parents left in their car and the kids and I got back in Nate's car and headed to Manchester to pick up some groceries.
Sam was, as he usually is, talkative, funny. He plays with his Patagonia baseball cap and his hair a lot. He is still pretty thin because Lyme Disease, which he has had since last summer, makes him lose his appetite.
We talked about kids in college and how clueless many of them are. We talked about the situation in American high schools, about how so many kids have no idea what they want to do with their lives. He told us that one kid he met thought that Boston was a state. We all laughed, but I think we were actually worried about American kids.
Sam told us about his friend who grew up in Norway. He told us how the Norwegian government supports her in college with the expectation that she will go home and spread the intellectual wealth. We thought it was a good idea, for Sam's friend and for Norway.
The song, Ain't No Sunshine, by Bill Withers came on and everyone was quiet for a few minutes. Sam leaned his head back against the headrest and looked out the window. Coco held my hand. Nate drove.
If I had an Instagram, I might try to Instagram the way Sam's head looked in that moment, resting.
Or I might try to get a picture that showed the way it felt to be in the car on Mother's Day with all of my kids, even through the rain and the head pain and whatever each of us was thinking about the summer days to come.
But I'm not sure it would tell the story properly. I don't know that an Instagram photo could capture how much I love my kids, how good it was to be together, there inside the blue Subaru. I'm kind of glad I don't have an Instagram. I might have wasted that moment.